Moved from California to Montana for love, got married 6/28/14 and now I live on a sheep ranch in the middle of no where (Molt). Did I mention I love it? Picture me as the Pioneer Woman, sans the obsession with mayo.
Yeah me neither, but I love me some Mark Wahlberg so today, its all about him, and his fine abs.
I mean, what a white gangsta, he was cool before Eminem!
This who wouldn't love this face??
But in all seriousness, I was too young to enjoy Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but thats not to say I can't love them now... do you feel it? Do you feel the good vibrations??
Thank god he was able to make a cross over career change to acting so he can still grace us on the big screen.
This movie made me pee my pants, SO SCARY! yet sooooo good.
I mean, check out those dance moves.
And just because its Friday, and I love you all... I leave you with this gem:
Goats cannot be trusted. They are sneaky smart bastards with a mission to destroy human life. Or so I like to think, that way when an adorable little baby goat follows me around on the ranch all day I tell myself its an alien trying to steal something from me. I'm not 100% sure how the goats ended up on the ranch other than they showed up after a sale in town one day, so I am only to assume they went for pennies or the sneaky bastards opened the trailer and let themselves on while Mike (Henry's dad) wasn't looking. I'm guessing the later.
Here are a few reasons why you should never trust a goat.
1. They're assholes.
2. They are always getting in the way, and they're not even sorry about it
3. They can do human things, like surf.
4. They don't follow the rules.
5. They're so childish
6. They're jerks to their friends
7. They pretend to look really cute
I will not love the baby goats, I will not love the baby goats, say it with me! I WILL NOT LOVE THE BABY GOATS.
screw it, I love the baby goats. I can't help it. I love/hate them.
In honor of what I hope will be an EPIC reunion of NSYNC this weekend at the MTV video awards, this week I honor Justin Timberlake. Let me start by saying, I wasn't obsessed with JT, he was no JTT in my mind, but he was my favorite boy band member and lets be honest, hes a good looking individual.
I remember buying their CD in 7th grade and being embarrassed about it, because EVERYONE listened to them and loved them, but no one would admit it. I was a closet NSYNC fan. I think I still am.
I tried to perfect those dance moves... fail
Luckily for Justin he is still super successful and managed to break into acting which a lot of singers cannot do. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I've seen a few movies that he has been in. And he isn't a terrible actor like his hair was in the 90's.
honestly? corn row?
Whenever he hosts SNL I giggle and laugh because dammit, hes cute and funny.
1. When I stopped to get gas the other day I needed a water, so I went inside the station... The guy working there was sitting outside smoking and when he saw me going in he had to put out his cig (poor guy). Well as soon as I walk in he says
"What do you know about spider bites?"
I said "well what do you need to know about them?"
He said "well I just got bit by one outside"
I said "just take some benadryl and you'll be fine, unless it starts going numb then you might have a problem"
he says, "I can't feel my entire hand"
I stop, stare at his swelling hand and tell him "you might need to call for some backup"
2. 17 Reality Shows That Need To Come Back 1.Rock Of Love (I could not agree more!) I actually had a 23 minute conversation about this show and how amazing it was this weekend. It seriously was the most quality tv I've ever seen in my life. BRING IT BACK! BRING IT BACK! I'm not sure if I should admit this, but I've seen 14 out of 17 of the shows that made the list... 3. Nsync might reunite at the MTV video music awards. The 7th grader inside of me is pretty excited about this news!
4. I'm 99% sure that I broke my big toe on my right foot. It huts like a mo-fo and everytime I bend it backwards it KILLS me. Guess I need to buy new shoes, darn it. Speaking of breaking feet. Everytime I jump off, step off, or awkwardly do anything I have a flash of Kevin Ware breaking his leg in the NCAA finals. (I'll let you google that image yourself, you have been warned).
5. I really want to go to the movies, but nothing good is out and it cost $900 for popcorn, and you can't go to the movies without getting popcorn, am I wrong???
When does New Girl come back?
6. There was a blue moon last night, which apparently only happens every 3 years, and since I slept like POO last night I'm blaming the moon.
7. I've started training the dogs on the ranch how to do this. That way when lambing rolls around I can catch some zzz's while the dogs feed the bummers.
Remember when you were younger and you were totally obsessed with a celebrity? Growing up I remember all the girls being totally obsessed with a singer or actor. I was one of those girls. My target: Johnathon Taylor Thomas aka JTT
It was bad you guys, like really really bad. I remember being so obsessed with him that when the series finale of Home Improvement aired I recorded it on the VCR in case I feel asleep, which I did. The next day I went to watch it and Lesa (I will always hold resentment towards her for this) set the VCR to record the wrong channel, so I didn't get to watch the season finale of Home Improvement. So I did what I do, I did what every 12 year old would do. I threw a freaking fit AND CRIED. I was so pissed I remember just screaming at Lesa as if she killed my cat (RIP Sassy). This was before current TV technology so I had no way of getting to see that final episode, and looking back I still have not seen that episode.
best show ever
Do you guys remember in middle school they would pass out those little catalogs so you could buy books? Like goosebumps and other kid friendly popular reads? One time I remember there was a JTT combo pack, complete with a life size poster of him. LIFE SIZE! I was so excited I ordered it right away with no idea how I would pay for it. I went home that night and collected every penny, nickle, quarter and dollar I could find in the house to pay for my Johnathon Taylor Thomas combo kit. When it finally came 2 weeks later to Ms. Gail's 4th Grade classroom I almost peed in excitement. I couldn't wait for her to pass out the orders. Once I got it I opened it as if I was Ralphie Parker in a Christmas story opening his Red Ryder BB gun. As soon as I got home that day I plastered that life size poster on my wall and just STARED at it. Are kids still this weird?
How bout those BOP magazines? Whenever we went grocery shopping I would run over to the magazines searching for his face on the cover. And then get SO MAD if my mom wouldn't buy it for me... which she NEVER did. Thank god or she would have had more posters to peel off my bedroom wall.
I also believe it was these magazines that led me to believe I was in the running to be his girlfriend. I remember thinking that he would show up at my front door on my birthday with flowers. WHY?
Anyone else have an unhealthy obsession with a celebrity growing up? I know I can't be the only strange child out there.
I now have a dire need to watch Man of The House this weekend. or Lion King... anyone else have a crush on Simba??
Have I mentioned I live on a sheep ranch? Just wanted to remind you because shit is about to get weird.
I got home late Saturday night and had poured myself a GIANT glass of wine and made nachos because for some weird reason when I finish a big event, its all I want. Well, actually I wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant and order nachos and a beer, but since the only Mexican place was closed I made due.
YES, I drink wine out of a purple cup, don't you judge me
ANYWAY, as I start stuffing my face Mike (Henrys dad) informs me that the Vet will be here Sunday to semen test the rams. Yes, you read that correctly. Semen. Semen. Semen. Apparently its a normal thing in the sheep world and even though I have been involved in ag my whole life I have never seen this done. A very small part of me was very curious to how this activity would take place... and I'm assuming you perverts are curious too.
Well, let me try to explain... as best as I can.
Step 1. Bring all the big boy rams into the ranch by telling them they are going on a relaxing spa getaway. Complete with hoof pedicures and horn shiners
2. Then as soon as you get them in the barn you let them in on the secret. Shit is about to get real.
that aint no pedicure chair
3. When the ram enters the chute, they are tilted onto their side on a table (modified calf table of sorts). He then gets a full clinical examination of external and internal sexual organs and the size of the testicles is measured. This reflects directly on the quantity of the semen. After manual stimulation of the internal sexual organs, a probe is inserted (into what I you make and gentle electro-stimulation is applied until ejaculation. This is when the semen is collected into a test tube and then immediately examined under a microscope and is scored for volume, concentration and contamination as well as the motility of the sperm and any microscopic abnormalities.
5. It sounds like this "FIRE" 8 seconds later "OFF" then out comes the you know what...I got to look in the microscope, it was so cool, I mean it looks just like you think it will. little tadpoles swimming around like leprechauns looking for the end of the rainbow.
6. Then of course, Henry needed to sort sheep about 7 miles from the ranch, so I spent the rest of my Sunday staring and sheep butts, which was the trend for the day apparently. Guess it was a little better than what the Rams had to go through.
Hopefully this weekend things are a little less eventful and I can tend to my sad sad garden and get a good run nap in...
WHOA, what a crazy past few weeks it has been. The store I work at opened an amazing new location and our Grand Opening was this week... needless to say I've been working more than the regular 40 hour week. Which has been fine since Henry has been on the Rodeo trail roping it up across the state. I'm pretty excited for things to go back to normal next week once all the crazy-ness is done.
1. I missing the Nevada County Fair :(
I could write a book about my hometown fair.
Cliff Notes: Its the BEST fair in the whole wide world!
But for reals, the food is AMAZING, I always plan on gaining about 10 pounds a day while I am there. For lunch I get a corn dog, baked potato, orange Julius, 2 tacos, tempura vegetables, and ice cream for dessert. Then for dinner I'll have another baked potato, corn on the cob, hamburger, ribs, pastie (look it up), and then if you are sitting within a 2 ft diameter of me I'll eat whatever your eating too.
I also miss my fam-bam and the Corgis... Guess I'll get to see them next month when I am home, maybe I can make my mom recreate all the fair food I missed.
2. My Garden got hammered. Not drunk hammered (thats my job) but it got hail hammered. If you follow me on Instagram (which you should) I had posted an Insta-video of how awesome my garden is coming along and within MINUTES a storm came in out of nowhere and took out some peppers, and battered my tomatoes. Everything looks like it will survive minus some peppers, but now I know what its like to be a farmer. That was the most stressful situation. All those hours of planting, weeding and watering flashed before my eyes! Here is a quick video I took while standing on the front porch of the house. I have another better one with the tree losing branches, but I use some choice words so I decided not to upset my mother.
3. Apparently its been Shark Week? I mean sharks are cool, I guess? I just don't understand all the hype. Personally I'm not into it, I think I tried to watch an episode last year and after person got eaten... I was done. I think I saw a shark fin in the ocean once and pooped my pants. So sorry shark week, NOT FOR ME.
I have to admit though that this commercial is GENIUS
4. Everyday during our Grand Opening we had giveaways. Well on Saturday the girl yells "DOEY LONG TIME you won!" and I scream across the room "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
She still doesn't get it... I said, read that to yourself and pick a new winner.
