May 4, 2013

You know you live in Molt Montana when...

Since moving to the great state of Montana and living in complete solitude in the middle of no where I have come to make a few observations about my life.

1. When you go grocery shopping your cart looks like Michelle Duggar's feeding 20 children.  Lets face it, I live about 45 minutes from town, the less trips to town the better.  I often get the "wow, you must have a large family" comment at the check out line.  Yes, I do, and they are all grown Peruvians who are older than me and don't speak the same language as I do.


2. You have no idea how many dogs live on the ranch. Not. A. Clue. Dogs are very necessary for a ranch, they do a lot of work.  The bigger the ranch, the more dogs.  So there are quite a few running around here.  I honestly couldnt even give you a figure.  Maybe? 10+?  Good news, I love them and they love me.


3. Passing more than one car on the way to town constitutes as traffic.  But seriously, if I pass one car I think WHOA WHERE IS EVERYONE GOING???


4. There is no need for an alarm clock when the bobcat starts up at 6am.  Nuff said.  However I start my new job in town, so I guess I'll be up before the bobcat now...  Now I'll have to yell at my alarm clock.

5. You get really excited when new gravel goes on your dirt roads.  Its true, they are redoing some of the gravel roads on the way to the ranch and its pretty neat.  Now when I drive I don't feel like I am on a roller coaster.  Its a luxury.

6. Your car is permanently dirty.  I've attempted to wash my car twice.  TWICE.  Unless I plan on selling it or Prince Henry (the redhead from England, not my bf) comes to Montana, its staying dirty.  It also sounds cool when I say "I'm riding dirty" or I mean "Imma ridin durrrrrtaaaaa"
this isn't my car, but it sure looks like mine from HS

7. The post office closes at 2:30.  Not like I mail things all the time, but when I want to its 2:31pm.

Also when you do go to the post office you were the sole customer that day.

8. Everyone knows everyone.  Even before meeting people for the first time they already know who I am since the last person to move to Molt was in 1876.  I also keep meeting people and introducing myself only for them to say "yeah, we already met" then I feel like a total asshole.

9. The local news covers breaking news for 30 seconds but spends 28 minutes talking about cattle prices and local high school sports.  I make fun of the news anchors almost everyday, they are so awkward and Henry gets mad at me.  At the end of the show they have 30 seconds to wrap it up and its usually consumed by them talking over each other with "good weekend, oh weather, see you... later, okay bye" Its painful.
I've always thought so

secret wars

10. You go through a gallon of mayo every 2 weeks.  This is not a joking matter.  Between potato salads, pasta salads, ranch dressing...the list goes on.  The boys are definitely NOT starving around here.


11. You leave your keys/purse/$10,000 cash in your car unlocked and its still there when you get back. This is still startling to me.  I find it bizarre and amazing all at the same time.  When I get the courage to not lock my doors I feel like a rebel.  However, I still find myself locking my car 99% of the time.  Henry... he maybe locks his doors 5% of the time, and he leaves his keys in and truck running.

12. You wave to every car regardless of if you know them or not.  This is actually my favorite thing ever.  Growing up in Kansas everyone waved to each other, then when we moved to Ca no one waved to each other except on our road, NOW NO ONE WAVES and it made me sooooo sad.  So now that I get to wave again, its like a part of my soul has been put back together again.

13. You have an emergency kit in your car that includes food and boots in case you get stuck in the snow.  Back roads, no cell service, crazy weather...need I say more?  I want to get creative with my emergency kit and have it include games like twister, although if I get stuck by myself that wouldn't really make much sense.

14. You have cell service 10% of the time.  This might shock a lot of you, but this fact doesn't bother me that much.  Well, it doesn't bother me until I am stuck on the side of the road with a flat...then I will be pissed.
15. You are lucky to get a full pressure shower.  All the ranches run on a well.  When chores are being done, or the laundry is going your shower is a trickle at best.


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