The new trend in wedding gifts is to give you husband to be a book of pictures of yourself the night before the wedding, nothing CRAZY, but tasteful boudoir photos that make him even more excited about marrying your crazy ass. Also, it will serve as a good reminder when you are 76 years old that you were a hottie back in the day.
My awesome friend Lovely who is a gifted photographer agreed to take the pictures of me, having a friend shoot the pictures made it less awkward and a fun at the same time. I wanted to be fully covered in all the pictures, because I am a lady, but obviously I am in lingerie and they are considered "sexy" (not that I ever consider myself sexy but I'm just setting up the story here okay!?).
I then asked my friend "weren't you embarrassed to go pick up your book at the photo department?" She said "yes but its not like you are naked, you are covered as much as wearing a bathing suit" I said "true" and she helped me order my picture book. Later that day I went to pick up the book, did I mention this was all the week of the wedding, so time was an issue here. I was hoping that since it was ordered in the morning by the time I went to pick it up it would be new person on shift and I wouldn't be red in the face. OH… WAS… I… WRONG...
The SECOND I see the employee who is working the photo department I can tell he knows EXACTLY who I am. I immediately turn BRIGHT RED and have to hold my hand over my mouth because I can't stop smiling and I'm on the verge of a full awkward laugh. I try to keep it together as he searches every drawer while stealing glances my way… he then says "I think I need to get my manager because we aren't allowed to give you your photos"
… um what??
Out walks the manager and two more employees (who have a combined IQ of 37) and tells me she cannot give me my photos because they are not appropriate. She of course is telling me this as she is holding MY PICTURES in her hand. At this point I have so many emotions I don't even know what to say. I HATE awkward situations and this just shot up to #1. She told me I could go to customer service to receive my refund. I say "Ok" and I walk away wondering how many Wal Mart employees got to see me seductively posing with a cowboy hat.
As I walk to the front of Wal Mart I feel like a pervert, like I did something really wrong when in reality I did NOTHING wrong! I start thinking about how over 6 employees have now seen pictures of me that I wanted no one besides my future husband to see and as I get to the customer service and totally break down in tears.
Thankfully a younger women who should most definitely not be working at Wal Mart because she could complete a whole sentence tells me they print those books for brides all the time. I told her apparently mine was too much for them today. I then blurted out "I'M NOT NUDE!" and she just says "its okay, we will get this figured out" I told her if they don't want to give me the pictures I need to see them destroyed myself and aren't sitting in some Wal Mart locker room wall! I also asked her "if I was in a bathing suit in the pictures would they give them to me?" and she said "oh for sure!" awesome. just awesome.
I then start to get angry… mad in fact that they printed my photos all had a good laugh about it and then wouldn't give me my photos. I followed the sweet girl back to the photo department where she gets yet another manager involved and they shred the photos for me.
I felt like flipping them all off, but I refrained after all I am a lady.
I almost hugged the one smart employee as I was leaving.
Luckily my friend found an online photo site that would ship right away and I got them the day before the wedding, just in the nick of time. So word of advice, don't show off your lady bits… they could be up in a Wal Mart locker room.
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